What Happened?

It’s been too long, but there really has been nothing to write about. Most of you know I was injured back in January. What you may not know is that apparently (according to the doctors) it’s a pretty serious injury and it pretty much had me stalled for a while.

For those of you who don’t know, it’s a rotator cuff injury and elbow injury. Without being too technical basically all the tendons in my elbow are detached. And the shoulder has a tendon issue as well. To make it even more interesting both doctors I am seeing have said they’ve never really seen an elbow injury like mine. To put that in perspective, the specialist that only treats from the elbow down and is about 2 days older than dirt is perplexed by the injury saying he’s only seen one other. So I’ve been in a state of limbo. PT, no PT, elbow injection, PT for the shoulder without aggravating the elbow, no PT, shoulder injection, more PT.

Meanwhile don’t lift, push, pull, drag, twist…UGH! And it’s my left arm which would be great if I were a rightie, but I’m not.

It’s been a learning process for sure. One doctor told me “Just use your right arm.” Ok. Sure. Sounds easy, right? Ha! I’m quickly learning it’s not that simple, that you have to reverse your thinking too. I’m hoping since I have to use both sides of my brain I’ll end up smarter? Well, it sounds good in theory.

Then there was mourning. Sounds silly, right? Maybe it is, I mean it’s not like I LOST a limb right? But it’s quite frustrating to watch life go by and you can’t participate in the things you love. If you know me, you know I’m hands-on. We cut down 2 trees and normally I would’ve been out there, chainsaw in hand. It almost killed me. Luckily my work crew showed up with spouses and they kept me occupied. But it wasn’t the same. I just feel so damn helpless…

So I’ve started to move past that. Started. I still have my bad days. But decided to get back on the stupid bike this week and get my self back together. I’ve gained 10 pounds because if I can’t exercise I have no motivation to eat right. Not that I was eating terribly, but didn’t hold myself as accountable as I should.

And I still struggle. Is it worth busting my butt to be sidelined in a few months if they decide surgery for the elbow? Is it worth it at all be cause every time I get a good start and feel really good about it something comes along to knock me down? Is it worth the extra aches and pains to go along with these 2 big ones?

It is. I’m going with the mindset that IF I have to have surgery, I’ll recover much more quickly if I’m in better shape. And anything I lose will be a loss and that’s a positive as long as the scale creeps in the right direction. It’s going to be a long road, I know. The elbow doctor says it could take more than a year. I will overcome this, one way or another.

So I’ll keep pedaling. Maybe not as fast or far but pedaling none the less…

*Side note: I made a choice to not take any pain medication other than over the counter or a mild prescription medication. So my pain is as controlled as it can be without getting in to the heavy duty stuff. I went through that with my back and refuse to do it again. Please don’t judge me for this choice, it was very personal for me.

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